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Discussion Starter #43
A 35 year old man goes to the doctor and asks to be castrated.

The doctor looks at him for a minute and asks if he is sure. The man says yes, he's thought about it for some time and thinks its time to get it done. The doctor says alright, it's your body.

After the procedure, the man wakes up and the doctor comes over for a chat. He tells the man that while he was down there, he threw in a free circumcision.

Circumcision! the man exclaims. That's the word I was looking for.
 

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Discussion Starter #44
A man goes into the doctors office to get a physical.


The doctor says, "Well, you need to stop masturbating so much."


The man says, "why?"


"Because I'm trying to give you a physical!"
 

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Discussion Starter #45
I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.

I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him but... … they kind of taste like peppermint.
 

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Discussion Starter #46 (Edited)
A professor turned up to the class with two rats in a cage..

The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it. The rat was in the middle of the cage.

Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on side and kept a female rat on the other side. The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.
Then, the professor changed the cake and kept some bread. The male rat ran towards the bread.

This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time. And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.

Professor explained, “This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction”.

Then, one of the students from the back rows shouted out, "Sir, why don't you change the female rat....? She may be his wife!!"
 

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Discussion Starter #47
An eighty-nine year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.

When she went before the judge he asked her, "what did you steal?"

She replied, "A can of peaches."

The Judge asked her why she had stolen the can and she replied that she was hungry. Then the Judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied "six".

The Judge said, "Then I will give you six days in jail."

Before the Judge could pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something on his wife's behalf.

The Judge said "What is it?"

The husband said "she also stole a can of peas."
 

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Discussion Starter #48
The Pope & his crossword puzzle

A man is preparing to board a train when he hears that the Pope is also going to be using that mode of transportation because he apparently wanted to try something different.


"This is exciting," the man thinks. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person."


Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him. But the gentleman was too shy to speak to the Pontiff.


Shortly after taking his seat, the Pope began a crossword puzzle.


"This is fantastic," the man thinks. "I'm really good at crosswords. Perhaps, if the Pope gets stuck, he'll ask me for assistance."


Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'u-n-t'?"


Only one word leaps to mind. The man feels uncomfortable. "My goodness," he thinks, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word." He thinks for a while, then it hits him and he says, "I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt'."


"Of course," replies the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"
 

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Discussion Starter #49
I've recently obtained a book on the guidelines of masturbation.

So far, I've stuck to it. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #50
Eddy and his crush

Eddy was just a regular guy. Except for the fact that he was an only child and the fact that his billionaire father was breathing his last. Since Eddy was a soon to be billionaire it only made sense that he should have a woman to share his riches with.

Eddy approached his childhood crush. “Hey Sandra, I may look like a regular guy, but I’m soon gonna be a billionaire! Do you wanna come home with me?”

“Sure thing” Sandra replied, “I would love to come home with you.”
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And that’s the story how Sandra became Eddie’s Stepmother
 

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Discussion Starter #51
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby.

The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man sitting next to us."

A few minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on, honey. Stop playing with it and put it in your mouth, or I'll give it to this nice man here."

Five minutes later, the baby was still didn't want to feed, so the mother said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man sitting here."

A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up your mind!"
"I was supposed to get off the bus four stops ago!”
 

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Discussion Starter #53
TRIPLE DOSE

A Man went the doctor’s office to ask for a Triple Dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a triple dose.

'Why not?' asked the man. 'Because it's not safe,' replied the doctor.

'But I need it really bad,' said the man.

'Well, why do you need it so badly?' asked the doctor.

The man said: "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; My ex-wife will be here on Saturday; My wife is coming home on Sunday." "Can't you see? I've got to have a triple dose.”

The doctor finally relented saying: "All right, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects."

On Monday afternoon the man dragged himself into the doctor’s office...his right arm in a sling.

The doctor asked, "Good god! What happened to you?"

The man said, "No one showed up"
 

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Discussion Starter #54
What a night!

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.

Finally, I drifted off to sleep.

Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.

My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you.

Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you........





You damn mosquito!
 

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Discussion Starter #55
A woman goes to the hospital.

"What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor.


"Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my Vagina."


The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said,
"Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off bananas."
 

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Discussion Starter #57
A drunk walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a car key in his hand. A cop sees him and approaches the drunken swaying man.

"Can I help you, sir?", he asks.

"Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole me carrr", the drunk replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasss on the end of thisshh key", the drunk replies.

About that time the cop looks down and sees the man's dick hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.

He asks the man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

Momentarily confused, the drunk man looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out....

"Holy ****! Me girlfriend's gone, too!!
 

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[h=2]The Best Way To Teach Your Daughter Not To Lie[/h]
Enter the First Moon Party...

 

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hahahahaha, the started kit killed me Lmfao, good one D.
 
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